Rainbows in the sky

Thursday, March 31, 2005

hais..thot can go malaysia de..but in e end..*gone* hais..jus reali vr enthu abt gg..k,i duno wats so gr8 bt tt plc..but anywae..hais..dun sae le la..nw im rotting at hm.but actuali i lik tt u noe!its lik..so tiring being outside..LOL..went bac 2 sch ytd,den went century sq..n we saw wee ben ann!i was lik omgosh..but it sumhw felt weird toking 2 him again..cos its lik he didnt 1na contact us or sumthng?4 wat reason?i reali reali duno.den i jus asked him upfront "wa lao eh..ppl msg u den nv even bother abt us lor,pls" wee:"orh tt time vr tired la..hols,hols ask u out k!" i was lik..uh huh...do i c tt day coming?but glad 2 noe he's doing fine yea..n tt he's happy..sumhw jus felt if things didnt turn out lik this..sheesh.enuff.den did sumthing so so retarded.went town w chin,jh.but chin went her own way.n we were gg 2 ps 2 catch hitch.ok,i noe tt's so outdated.reached dere,e oni tix left were lik front row fr screen?gee,thx lots.but i'd rather sit on e steps rite at e top,seriously.so i was lik kinda disappointed cos it was lik gg 2 stop screening in lik 2 days.hais..den in e end..jh decided 2 go wif me all e way back 2 tampines,whr we came fr!sounds lik fun eh?!hahah..so we ate n went bac 2 tampines.LOL.tt's e most retarded thing tt can ever happen.initially didnt 1na catch at TM cos it was lik abit late 4 jh..but in e end..haha..ya lorrr..anywae..as usual..i was e oni one laughing my ass off so loudly in e theatre.hey,but who cares?!find sumthing funny,laugh!rather than lik compress my laughter into "keke"..jus laff lik wahhahahaha!!k,excuse me,tt was a lil lame.e show was reali darn funny sia..cant stand it.reali enjoyed it ( i.e without those hand grabbings jh gave me n e occasional nudges.i was lik...wat?!)...glad i caught it!mUaahaah~!den bot sum missha stuff 4 mum,sista n angel.hee..ya had a gr8 day..oh thx lots 2 meiting who helped us out in e MP.thx!anything but pariss pls??!!!spare us,hv mercy on us!! *its raining n as usual..feeling darn moody.gosh,i'd love 2 slp in on such days cos it leaves me feeling so despondent.but i dun 1na waste my hols away lik this!!ya,u noe i've bin tinking a lil 2 much again..wateva i c,i get affected.wateva i hear,i get affected.its lik wat the..mus things b lik this?oh im so into li sheng jie's songs..nice nice..since when i becum so cheena?i duno..haha..anywae..i jus 1na noe if * is fine n all..i mean its nt lik im pining 4 * but i jus hope 2 b part of * life again..dun get me wrong pls..i jus 1na noe rite fr *,tt * is fine n hw has life been 4 *...tt's all..is tt 2 much 2 ask 4?anywae...wat can i do?i can jus sit here n tink..n den 4gt abt it,rite?kaes..go le la..hey i spent quite sum time trying 2 put tt song in..noeing tt even "computer-basics 4 dummies" dun even work 4 me..u guys shud noe hw bad it is.hee,so pls do pardon e sloppiness.i tried my bes!!

~7:41 AM

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Wednesday, March 30, 2005

leonard n me

~3:12 PM

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my lil chick..xiao huang ji..haa

~3:12 PM

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damn cute can?!

~3:11 PM

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ah ma and me.LOL

~3:11 PM

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cute?mUhaha

~3:09 PM

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*poly gals*

~3:09 PM

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SINGAPORE: Tremors were felt in many parts of Singapore following a powerful earthquake in Indonesia on Tuesday. The Singapore Meteorological Service confirmed that an earthquake occurred off the coast of northwestern Sumatra, approximately 600 km west/northwest of Singapore and registered 8.7 on the Richter Scale.2000 believed to be dead in Nias.
*on mon nite,abt 12.05Am,cant remember wat time le..i was writing something on my bed when i suddenly felt this pulling force.i felt as if sum1 was tugging me fr behind.i was lik shocked.it nv occured 2 me tt it might b an earthquake.i crawled 2 my sista's bed n looked at her.but i still felt this tugging continued.i felt reali darn scared.was it me?i looked ard..evryting seemed 2 b still..only i was moving.den aft sae 1 min or so..it went away...i told myself..evrything fine le..(oh ya,i said a prayer in btw.LOL) den i continued writing my stuff.den kor came into my rm n said hey!did u experience anything?i said uh-huh i actuali did."u noe i jus watched on chn newsasia n dey reported tt tremors were felt.dere was an earthquake in Indonesia.no wonder i felt lik i was moving jus nw.i thot eh..hw cum lik so dizzy lidat man..den my fren told me tt he had felt sumthing over his plc 2" me:"omgosh..so its tt huh..alamak..gave me a shock..i thot wat was it lehs..scared me sia." "evrythng fine here,jus go n slp la"
**condolences 2 all who hv passed on in the disaster.pray 4 their souls n at e same time,count my own blessings.**
sry jie,i read in ur nick tt u lost ur camera..i aint gd at consoling..i can jus look at ur nick n sae..sry tt happened..dun b so sad over it le k...things lost can b bought bac..b more careful in e future kaes?

~2:56 AM

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Tuesday, March 29, 2005

pls 4give me..im feeling so bored..i wl jus blog evry single thing which pisses me off or i find absurd.wateva.wth?!xiang long 18 zhang?!oh man..zzz..i tink it wl send young girls flying off their seats arh..but..wth..gosh.sumthing more creative pls lik "i dream" n wat's e wo dang wo dang at e bac?!ok,sum credit 4 quite a creative title..sumthing related 2 his name.but urgh!wat's wrong man.damn..n wat he's releasing album?n dey still ask if he wl b beta than taufiq?!but of cos rite..so many girls gaga over him..duno over wat oso?*can sum1 enlighten me?

~11:02 AM

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Your Brain is 80.00% Female, 20.00% Male

Your brain leans female
You think with your heart, not your head
Sweet and considerate, you are a giver
But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

'>http://www.blogthings.com/genderbrainquiz/">
What Gender Is Your Brain?*try this*

~6:01 AM

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wee~!!!!im at hm man..gosh..feel so darn gd yet switching 2 this rotting mode soon.*yawns.i 1na go out!!but duno go wif who lehs..i 1na watch movie..but evry1 has like watched e movie i 1na catch.irrits.anywaes,let's c..hmmm..oh yea..let's tok abt e sat bbq.LOL.at 1st i was lik so lost when i reached dere..cos e oni ppl i ever noe dere was xy jie n kevin!n huiling.but dere were lik pretty alot of ppl dere can..den xy was e host,of cos she had 2 run here n dere entertaining ppl n taking care of things.kevin was her gr8 assistant.entertaining diff grps of ppl 2.k so tt leaves 2/3 unavailable.den huiling was toking 2 another of her fren.dere!tt leaves me alone..whhaha..i was feeling so lonely sia..altho xy n kevin did their bes 2 kip me company but sumhw i felt bad n dey had lots of things 2 tend 2..so i jus told em i'll b fine sitting alone.n i was lik poking at this 1/2 eaten stingray xy had left b4 she went sumwhr.*YUMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tell u it was damn nice.when she came bac.oni e bones were left.LOL.anywae..den she started introducing me 2 so many ppl..her pri sch bes fren..she's reali frenly n nice!!den started toking 2 em..den aft tt she introduced me 2 a few of her course mates.den came philip who had e same surname as her.n it goes on..eventually i ended up at a table w firdaus(ns guy),jacky(super funny n crappy),philip(darn lame n cranky.oh btw,both jacky n him were lik gay partners.LOL),n sum1 else.cant remember.LOL.den was reali fun wif em lah..lik can laugh at evrything dey sae..n u noe hw easily amused i m..LOL..den aft tt dey started toking abt spirits la.damn.den dey sae oredi vr "gian"..den continued n didnt 1na stop..abt their personal experiences,wat their frens had told em,evrything!dey seemed 2 b having gr8 fun telling all out.i was lik...pls stop it!!den dey all go on!den aft tt stupid philip scare me sae gt sum1 behind me.darn.i screamed so loud..i tink e ppl over fisherman village cud hear.hey,tt reali tk me by surprise n gave me such a big shock.it was lik at their peak of their stories..n bOO!thx leh~ den i ran over 2 xy jie..n told her.LOL..but in e end..i turned n went bac 2 tt table.LOL.budden...dey had changed their topic 2 sumthing else le.YES!anywae..e nite continued lidat..n at sum pt of time i was lik tinking abt certain tings n was sitting alone.den xy lik ask em y nv acc me.i felt kinda bad la..so i told em its ok..im tinking abt sumthing n dun mind being alone.xy reali tk gd care of me lorrr.n we had this piece of mini cake..was lik so nice but 1 mouthful nia..:( hahah..yums~!aft tt xy went 2 send her frens off 2 e main rd or sumthing.den dere were lik oni 3 ppl left?den kevin called me over n introduced me as "this is xy's xiaomei n my bro's ex gf.i dun mind having her as my real xiaomei actuali"i was lik eh thx lehs..e "bro's ex gf" can b left out rite?!den he said (sumthing so surprising n touching?LOL!!) "wat?!im proud 2 sae tt u r ok!" i was lik "er..alrite.." den i sat down n chatted w em..n started cleaning up..den kevin had michelle acc me 2 toilet..cos thx 2 jacky's story..it left me even scared 2 go 2 e darn toilet.damn.jacky,thx ah.LOL.den aft tt sat down n started talking aft he returned wif sum fd.he was saying certain things..which made me change his view of him totally.dun ask me wat i thot of him.but nw in my mind,he's a matured,so luv jie,responsible kinda guy.serious.its lik..i saw e diff side of him..e serious side of him.n i m glad dey r 2gether..n owaes wud b..i duno y..i reali look upon em as my bro n sis.dey giv u tt kind of care n...ya.altho sumtimes i tink jie reali is 2 stubborn n all but she's having her fair share of insecurity.e trust btw em is dere..i tink sumtimes dey nid 2 understand each udder's thots tt's all.lik swop plcs n tink fr dere.well,dey r much more grown up den me,im sure dey wl noe hw 2 handle it.but im reali glad!!as in..reali glad 2 hv known em..n it was part 2 of encounters.thx jie.LOL.it was pretty scary la..cos its personal experience.damn again.den aft tt we left e plc at abt 140?cos evry1 was lik feeling tired.den b4 tt kevin said dun wry i send u hm k!since xy so teng u so mus i.LOL...thx!hahah..sumtimes its reali an advantage 2 b youngest among em.initially i wanted 2 tk cab hm,i went dere well prepared.LOL.but thx!den this xy arh.i tell u..she kept saying...grace!since we're lik quite a distance fr dere..let me tell u la!!i said NO!n i walked in btw all of em.didnt 1na b e last or e 1st.but tinking bac,dey said dun b e 1 standing in e middle.=X.wateva!den xy kept wanting 2 tell me.she siao le sia.den ok i granted her plea n allowed her 2 tell me.i shall nt share w u.thx again leh jie.LOL.reached void deck..walked vr fast 2 e lift n up.*safe at hm* LOL.den i went 2 slp.but e nxt morn i woke up,i was feeling this mass ache all over me.evry single part.esp my arms n legs.n my head was lik so damn pain.it was excruciating.i felt reali sick n all warm over.but i still had enuff energy 2 walk 2 my bro's rm 2 use e comp.LOL!!but aft tt i couldnt tk it.i went bac my rm n jus laid flat on my bed.tried evry style of slping but jus cudnt get 2 slp.e ache was killing me.i jus didnt noe y i had these aches all over.i felt reali worried.but i fell asleep feeling so sick.den at 10,i was woken up by my mum n sis.had 2 go church.told mum bt it.she told me use e massage thingie dey had at hm.proceeded 2 church.happy easter!!wee!!i felt so happi at church.n told God so many things.e things i 1na accomplish 4 Him.i reali 1na change 2 b a beta person.dun laff la.serious.look,he died 4 me.i jus 1na b worthy of his love.=) it was so fun chilling at e canteen.anywae..at tt time..my back n all still ached terribly.went hm aft tt.was caught in e rain.watched meteor garden on tv.eh,damn sad can.i didnt noe it wud b tt bad.LOL.den at dinner time..evry1 went mad.mum was nagging at us...4 wat i duno.evrything n anyting.it kinda got me all pissed.i went 2 dining table w a sulky n grumpy face.i didnt had appetite.ate oni sae 5 spoonfuls of rice.mood totally ruined.den mum joined us aft bro had.he was lik y u 2 lik so grumpy n ave wif her oh-tt's-so-attitude replied him.4gt wat le.den mum lik started toking 2 us.n we all left e dining table all well again.weird family we hv here.LOL!!!but..i love!watched tv,slack ard,den cleaned our rm..vacuumed,changed sheets..etc.n it was 12 le aft finished writing sumthing.den i went 2 slp wif my back all aching again.n nw here i m..unable 2 slp cos of e ache..i duno wat 2 do.oredi applied those rub le.duno beta nt.oso duno.cos nt here ache den is dere ache.n my head lik a lil pain still.hais.hw sia?!i nid sum kind soul 2 massage 4 me.haha..=) k la..pretty long entry sia..*sry ppl,im lik reali long winded n cant cut my story short..sry!* buais~!happy rotting 2 me..LOL..duno do wat..hais..tt's wat hols can brg.LOL.bye!

~3:20 AM

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Sunday, March 27, 2005

heyhey..welcum 2 mua low profile blog..hahha..Hmmm..okaes,let's start.sumthing happened on thurs which left me feeling vr sad n useless.nw i finally noe whr i stand n all.its lik,i feel so incompetent n all.i gt no1 2 blame but myself.i tink i seriously nid clarity of focus.but who can understand hw i feel?aft giving my bes..n its nt as if it was my fault or sumthing tt i drafted tt component wrongly.u guys din reali giv me any actual training,had a user manual watsoever.n was it my fault tt e trial thingie had expired 2?im nt trying 2 sae its entirely ur fault but giv me sum credit n understand wat im gg thru.n u jus rated me tt.asked if i had objection?hw wl tt help?so wat if u change e grading?i noe wat u reali tink of me anywae.its ptless isnt it?n sumthing else.i din cry over e pathetic grade,jus my lack of ability n e -oh-so-obvious biasness.come on man,n hey,do u feel guilty?if u do,gd n bad 4 u.if u've seen this day coming,y in e 1st plc do my nagging fall on deaf ears?y in e 1st plc didnt u do sumthing abt ur punctuality?r u oni starting 2 regret u havent done all tt oni now?2 late.actuali sumtimes,i cant help but wonder if we didnt go thru this shit 2gether,wud we b beta frens?but y do i tink so much when u dun even bother?u've gt other more imp ppl 2 tend 2 anywae.dun wry,i wl practise forgiveness,cos it liberates my hrt when i do.i wl 4giv but e scar left dere wl nv go away.nv.i'm nt doing this 2 make u feel even worst,but tt's jus wat i truly feel.wateva.i mean u guys can tink wateva u 1.u noe,seriously,i dun giv a damn.as long as i noe wat i reali tink...u all can jus go on ahead n say wateva.i cant care less.went 4 mass aft tt,i reali prayed a gr8 deal abt evrything.i jus had so much 2 tell God.altho actuali he noes my exact thots n all.sumtimes,i reali dun 1 things 2 b lik tis.i prayed so hard tt 1 day we mite becum frens again.i promise nt 2 let my hrt turn 2 mash again.all i hope is tt 1 daY..i'll b given e chance.let it b done according 2 His will.i felt reali gd pouring out all my woes 2 him.i noe He'll willingly carry e full weight of my burden.n tt assurance tt sum1 wl b dere owaes no matter hw much i've strayed fr Him cant mean more 2 me.i tink finally im starting 2 open my hrt..n 2 let him tk over.tt's gd.ok..den on Good Friday,i had this major AP.cant stand it.haha.i had this frown on my face on my way 2 church.n i was lik tinking.hey,im suppose 2 b happi 2 b dere 2 noe tt Christ had died 4 me on this day.y m i entering His house wif such attitude?slowly...i became fine again.LOL.den aft mass,it was sista's turn 2 giv an attitude.poor mum,she had 2 tolerate e both of us.haha.thx MUM!but aft tt all 3 of us happily went 2 eat Mos Burger 2gether.

Ave:Mum,hv a taste of e corn soup?
Mum:Nah,it doesnt look tt appetizing u noe.
Me:Try la!its pretty nice
Ave:Hey mama,dun kei kei arh..u 1na try rite?here here hv some!
Mum:(tks e corn soup n tks a sip..n den scoop aft scoop)
Us:Isit nice?
Mum:Hmmm,nt bad lah (continues scooping)

Ma,dun paiseh la..haha..jus sae n u shall b given.mUhahah..den had a nice n superb day w my babie.i reali mis her u noe.glad 2 noe she's found a job.n when she told me she wud b returning 2 hk in august,my hrt dropped.i was on e brink of tears.vr exaggerating rite?but its lik..she wun b here tt kinda ting..toking abt her,im reali glad i met her in my life.she shows maturity of thinking n such in her speech n is a gr8 companion-fren-wateva!hais..im gonna mis her! :( im so glad i hv her n she is vr assuring.n she reali cares alot.man,she reali does.hais.dun sae le,reali gonna cry le.whahaha!i love her!chahha!i reali had a fun day w her.joey..i reali feel sad 4 her.seriously n i hope evrything wl go on fine 4 her.i mean,dun blame urself or call urself a jinx!evrything is part of God's plan.cheer up. =) kaes,was reali tired aft tt.oops,sry this is a long entry,congrats 2 all who hv journeyed 2 this vr word.gtg!gt bbq 2 nite..chahah!HAPPY BDAY 2 XUEYU JIE,KENT,ZAC N MICH!!

~7:05 AM

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Friday, March 25, 2005

sumthing struck me out of a sudden at tt moment when i tk offence at her comment.i've seen similar things happening 2 quite a no of ppl ard me..dey treat a fren gd,n e fren doesnt reciprocate his/her kindness.actuali most of e times,we've expected 2 much fr e person.hw shud i brg my pt across?ok,let's jus sae dere is tom and jerry.tom treats u equally as well as jerry does.but eventually,who u 1na choose 2 b gd 2 or treat as ur confidante,wateva,ultimately wl b ur decision.get it?sae u choose jerry(cos tom is so darn irritating n dumb,jerry's cute n smart.LOL.). actuali sumtimes,it's rather sad 2 b treated in a way u dun 1na b treated.its lik sumtimes we expect 2 much..n no matter hw much tom does,he'll nv b treated e same way as jerry.n tt's when we start 2 get disappointed n start 2 feel remorseful.but,we were e ones who made e decision.i guess u'll nv noe till u try.but sumthings jus arent worth trying.*end.

~5:11 AM

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Thursday, March 24, 2005

yippie!finished my drawing le..can sae so la..mus wait 4 supervisor 2 cum bac n c if evrything is ok..if he says ok,den yeah!hols nxt wk le...MUahahha...so happi sia.oH u noe,i was lik so curious abt those mental illnesses..lik depression,schizophrenia etc.i mean its lik interesting 2 read up..n u noe cos i suspect im suffering fr a serious mental illess.Cos 1 moment,i can b laughing my ass off and e nx moment i wud b having such a fu*ed up attitude..n den u'll c a swollen-eyed me!i was lik so tired of my mood swings n all.reali vr vr irritating de..i'll kip wondering hw cum i wl feel this way..i reali dun wish 2 b lidat but cant help it.seriously.but perhaps nw in beta control le.n i chanced upon this article abt this mental illness : Bi Polar Disorder. n omgosh..its lik all e symptoms n all totally described me.*sobs* but peeps,dun b scared of me la..c ive bin lik alrite all these days rite?seriously,i tink im suffering fr tt lehs..let me share w u guys e article.
What is Bipolar disorder?
Bipolar disorder or manic-depression disease is a mental illness that is characterized by extreme changes in moods from mania to depression. In between these mood swings, a person with the condition may experience normal moods.The word "manic" describes the periods when the person feels overly excited and confident. These feelings can quickly turn to confusion, irritability, anger, and even rage. The word "depressive" describes the periods when the person feels very sad or depressed. Because the symptoms are similar, sometimes people with bipolar depression are incorrectly diagnosed as having major depression.
What Are the Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder?
The dramatic and rapidly changing mood swings from highs to lows do not follow a set pattern, and depression does not always follow manic phases. A person may also experience the same mood state several times before suddenly experiencing the opposite mood. Mood swings can happen over a period of weeks, months, and sometimes even years.
Symptoms of mania ("The highs"):
Excessive happiness, hopefulness, and excitement
Sudden changes from being joyful to being irritable, angry, and hostile
Restlessness
Rapid speech and poor concentration
Increased energy and less need for sleep
High sex drive ( ok,tt's nt true!!)
Tendency to make grand and unattainable plans (nt true)
Tendency to show poor judgment, such as deciding to quit a job
Drug and alcohol abuse (hmmm....)
Increased impulsivity
Some people with bipolar disorder can become psychotic, seeing and hearing things that aren't there and holding false beliefs from which they cannot be swayed. In some instances they see themselves as having superhuman skills and powers, or think they are god-like. (nt true cos i believe God is above all!)
During depressive periods, a person with bipolar disorder may experience:
Sadness
Loss of energy (vr true)
Feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness
Loss of enjoyment from things that were once pleasurable (haha..nono)
Difficulty concentrating
Uncontrollable crying (true true)
Difficulty making decisions
Irritability
Increased need for sleep
Insomnia
A change in appetite causing weight loss or gain (vr accurate)
Thoughts of death or suicide,attempting suicide (nono,2 me life is precious.so b appreciative tt u get 2 live.y end it?!)

ok..hais..its lik was so freaked out aft reading this article.Gosh!actuali sumtimes i reali m scared.in a sense tt..all my close frens n frens,family,hv all been vr tolerant of me n my mood swings.dey owaes giv in 2 me..n such.im reali afraid tt 1 day,when dey can finally tk my shit no more..dey wl jus leave once n 4 all...i reali dun 1 things 2 b lik this..but dere's no way i can control it!but dun wry..im lik a much happier person nw..jus tt sumtimes..tings reali make u pretty frustrated n all.dun wry,i wl b fine.its jus e normal ups n downs of life.thx evry1 4 being so tolerant of me.u'll nv noe hw much i cherish n appreciate it. =) *love ya!!

~9:43 AM

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hey!im in office rite nw..e bldg is jus driving me crazeee!!!!!!!!but i shall finish it 2 dae.YES!hais..suppose 2 go out 2dae de..but i cant..cos i cant stay out late..n i presume dey wl stay out till quite late..believe or not,im reali scared 2 return hm late.Mebbe 4 e time being i shall b a gd girl n go hm early..b hm b4 10 or sumthing...its nt tt my parents r giving me a curfew or anything..hmm..tt shall b 4 me 2 noe.*sry!* okie..i go draft le..feel so darn stressed by e ppl here...*sobs* byebye~

~2:43 AM

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Wednesday, March 23, 2005

im gg mad..can sum1 help me?mebbe i shud jus pay sum1 2 help me draft my drawings..its lik..fuk sia..wa lau eh..reali damn diff 2 draft..u duno hw 2 do this n tt...darn complexed..im gg mad..im so stressed sia..n i dun 1 my grp members 2 cum here 4 nth..dey seem damn bored..but im down dere struggling..i tink i wl cum back alone tmr..lik so wat lo..call em cum ere den 1 playing insaniquarium den e udder 1 playing ard w paint..LOL..but i feel useless.hais.k go draft le.im gg mad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~7:53 AM

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Tuesday, March 22, 2005

i tried vr hard..n i actuali succeeded.but nt.i was vr proud of myself when i thot i was starting 2 let go of...i wl miss him..but i wont cry 4 or over him..i told myself..n i managed 2 do it..but sumhw..this feeling was in my hrt..tt i wanted 2 cry...i felt as if i was suppressing evrything inside of me..it carried on lik this 4 days..i mean life still went on normally 4 me..but sumtimes..u cant help but tink abt such stuff..den last nite i was praying..i told God tt i felt vr terrible within..i told God.."Pls God..grant me e strength 2 b able 2 let go of him..wat do u 1 me 2 learn fr this?Pls dun let me learn it this way..pls...my hrt is so burdened..n im feeling so terrible..pls God..i'd rather b physically hurt den 2 experience hurt within..at least i can nurse 2 my physical wounds but i cant nurse e wound cut deep rite across my hrt.who can?i'd rather experience pain..lik i did when i was in e dreadful hospital ward n theatre..i'd rather go thru tt..Lord..pls tk away this hurt tt im feeling..i noe i cant do it alone..i nid u 2 b dere w me..i reali cant do it alone..who can help me but u?who can i turn 2?i noe u r dere 4 me..but grant me sum1 whom i can lean on n cry..sum1 who'll comfort me n tell me things wl b fine.." but 2 no avail..but i thk God cos in many wks...i cried.i finally cried..its gd 2 cry out..n feel beta.i noe crying wun help salvage anything but it reali givs u a sense of relieve.i found out tt i was e most lonely person..staring into darkness..staring at my hp..nobody noes wat im gg thru..but who bothers 2 anywae?sum1 wl oni noe sumthing has happened when uve informed em abt it..but alternatively,dey can ask 2..i laughed in my hrt.."grace..grace..." n i fell asleep upon my damped pillow..wif my burdened hrt n heavy mind.

~2:24 PM

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im glad 2 b hm..ppl sae e safest place 2 b at is at hm..yes n no.until e moment i m in my hse m i safe.actuali..my hm isnt tt safe..i tink oni 1 person wud noe wat i mean..yes..dey've cum back again..im sad..n scared..i duno wat 2 do..actions hv bin carried out..but sumtimes..i still feel lik crying..when i hear abt such news..:(..b reali thkful of ur life..Hmm..sae u'll nv thk God 4 brging u safely back hm or 2 work/sch..actuali..anything cud happen on e journey out n bac..sumtimes..we reali tk life 4 granted..when evrything is gg on well..we wun utter a word of thanks..or even thk in our hrt..but when sumthing bad happens..n evrything starts 2 screw up..it is den tt we question God...y us?doesnt it sound familiar?its nt tt im jinxing any1..but life is reali fragile..u'll nv noe wat is gg 2 happen e vr nxt moment..Y do ppl slog their lives out n in e end..mebbe dey can nv get 2 enjoy it cos dey hv tired emselves out in e process of earning big bucks n all..n in e end..dey gotta spend e money trying 2 "buy" their lives back...Wat im trying 2 sae is tt..live life simple..live life happy..this kinda life can b e happiest 1 any1 cud ever hv...
*Recently..i haven bin feeling good..i feel tt my stamina has dropped quite abit but y isit tt i wud oni feel tt sumtimes?does any1 noe hw terrible tt feels?to 1na walk a longer distance but u cant carry on at all?cos ur chest is tightening,ur oxygen supply is cut short,ur limbs n evry part of u has turned icy cold n ur hrtbeat is racing as fast as ur mind is?but nevertheless,im thkful..im thkful 4 being able 2 walk..at least i had my gd share of times when i tk part in races.Im reali thkful n m nt being a preacher here.Life is unpredictable.B thkful 4 evrything u hv..

~1:02 PM

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Monday, March 21, 2005

n its..well..disgusting rite..*uuuuuuu*

~9:58 AM

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heya!*oOO,its sunday.rest day.Man..like jus feel lik sitting on this chair 4eva.my ass feels so heavY..my mind seems 2 weigh a ton.hMmm..went 2 watch 'in good company'...well,wasnt as nice as i expected it 2 b..but still alrite lorrr..sry girl,i dun tink u reali liked show..hmm..i shall leave it 2 u 2 decide wat movie u 1na catch nx time okie!:) hais..its lik..im so bothered abt sumthing..n oni tt sum1 wl noe wat im tinking..u noe i reali care bt u..n i reali dun 1 things 2 turn out like it wud b..like wat i regrettted till tis day..ive told u b4..n i hope u wl understand.I feel tt ure irritated,tt im interfering in ur life.But i jus 1na tell u wat i feel.E ultimate decision is urs..i shall let u decide..mebbe i feel cos u reali nid 2 tink tt if ** didnt appear..oh well..i shall stop rite here ya..cos tink u'll only feel more vexed.I've bin tinking last nite..tt..y shud i lik bother,tink,wry so much 4 u?When u dun even 1 me 2?Its lik..ok..mind my own biz kinda ting.Rite.i wl do jus tt.I jus dun 1 u 2 walk in my old footsteps.enuff.period.
*ok..hmmm..basically..nth interesting.But omgosh..i tell ya...tt person selling tt candy is reali soooo cute.gOsh..haha..
*Im kinda addicted 2 Old Chang Kee's currypuffs.*OILY.FATTENING..but i LOVE..LOL
*I felt this sense of great loss last 9..when i was jus sitting in my rm..at e corner of my rm.Ok,dun tink im sum moron.I was jus charging my fone..n i had 2 reply 2 sum1,so i sat dere.But it was like..dere..i was tinking..Wat isit i 1 in my life?Y isit tt sumtimes i can totally 4gt certain things,nt b bothered abt it AT ALL n yet sumtimes..e feeling is jus so strong tt i feel so lost?I felt tt when i was walking back alone..slowly..n a 1000 things running thru my mind..e "if onlys"...But i noe wat isit i hv..n wat isit i dun hv rite nw..n e things tt wl nv b mine..Im vr certain,definite..but sumtimes i jus cant help but feel tt..n it reali sux.I 1na b in control of my mind..my life..but sumtimes..e stronger we tink we r,e weaker we r in fact.I pray..i confessed..n i feel much beta..It almost brought me 2 tears.But my tears cant seem 2 fall anymore..i duno y.No matter hw hard i try,it cant.I reali feel lik having a gd cry..but i jus cant.Call me ridiculous,idiotic.wateva.I reali cant.n my hrt feels heavy sumtimes.
*Ok,i was jus tinking..ya..do i lik hv 2 go 2 office at 9,since its lik e hols u noe.N omgosh..i nid 2 catch up wif my frens..its lik im missing out on so much..wat hv i bin up 2 man..hahha.N hols!!omgosh..i dun even feel lik working at all.but slacking all day..i mean,ya,finish up wat i hv 2..but make e most out of my time.U noe,life's short.Ya,life's short.I hope we can lik negotiate.it'll b lik so sad..cos i mean..mebbe i nid 2 stayover n hw m i gonna do tt when i nid 2 b in office at 9?!*sobs.LOL
*Finally noe wat 2 get 4 her le..hahha..so relieved..i hope no1 ends up w e same pressie as me.It'll b disastrous.LOL
*OH YA.saw sumthing tt reali shocked mum n i ytd.We were lik chatting..n walking..n den i suddenly grabbed mum's hand n told her..."mummy!!!look!yucks!!" and den we both started laughing.n pls kindly refer 2 e picture.Gross rite?-_-"

~7:51 AM

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Sunday, March 20, 2005

peeps.sry.my blog's 1 day old.sry alot of things nt established yet.Pls tolerate!

~6:21 AM

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Just when you feel as if you have come to a point of stability and calm in your emotions, something comes along to jar you and throw you off balance, GRACE. You may find that you are uneasy with the notion of stability and what you really yearn for is risk, action, and excitement. This inner conflict is making it hard for you to operate. Try not to overanalyze every piece of the equation. The solution will come to you naturally.

~4:59 AM

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Saturday, March 19, 2005

aRgh.ok mum i noe ure worried bt me.N i once told u tt im old enuff 2 tink 4 myself.but proved myself wrong.but come on,evry1 deserves a 2nd chance.she's my fren.i reali dun 1 her 2 b condemned lik this!Yes,i noe she's nt exactly a gd influence..but wat can she do 2 me?is she reali tt worthless in ur eyes?Some1 whom u label a slut?im sure she isnt tt bad..n in church,we learn 2 4giv n 4gt..so let's practice it in real life and show 2 other wannabes tt we r proud 2 call ourselves believers of God.U may tink im rebellious n u're so against it.But sry,im stubborn n when i set my mind on sumthing,i wl go on n do it no matter wat.If it turns out 2 b bad,i wl stand up 4 my vr own actions.I wl answer 4 em myself.So pls jus understand n let me go ahead n do wat i 1..ive thot it thru b4 i actuali decided 4 myself.Pls respect my decision.N she's my fren no matter wat.I believe tt she has changed n pls dun label her a ****...it sounds reali awful!I noe u love me n u 1 e bes 4 me..n i noe tt having said so much,it is my own decision..i noe i noe..

** mad bloggie **

Hmm..actuali sumtimes im reali happi e way my life is.I reali cherish life.Sumtimes i wl tink 2 myself..wat if we dun wake frm our slp..or we die e vr nxt moment?Wl we ever regret wat we've owaes wanted 2 do but nv had e courage 2 do it?Wl we this,wl we tt.Life is so fragile..we'll nv noe when our time is coming.Do u hv any regrets?Anything u 1na do at this vr moment?Ive done wat i wanted 2 do..2 let known my feelings.But sumtimes..i wonder if its in vain n if e person even gets 2 know wat i reali m tinking n feeling.Sumtimes,i wallow in regret.But at e end of e day,only i can stand up 2 my own feelings n actions.Nw,im a happier person.Sumtimes,u reali nid 2 look at e big picture.N u can reali c much clearer n understand things beta.Hmmm..yep.I feel much beta writing down wat i feel n all.haha.Im glad i hv e things i hv.My wonderful family (a naggy mum,joker dad,sumtimes abit self centered but still cares 4 us eldest bro,a cranky moronic ever so thotful 2nd bro n last 4 all..my soul mate.LOL..oops.i meant my lil sista.Reali glad 2 hv her in my life tho.LOL.n reali thkful God gave me such great ppl)

~2:27 PM

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i m bored 2 tears man.
*archicad sux
*yawns.y m i owaes feeling so darn tired de nehs
*wat is my wkend gonna b lik?
*how cum gt so many qns lehs.
*hais.i jus 1na noe if he's fine.I guess he is.
*He's owaes able 2 live life happy under wateva circumstances.
*I m sure he's happy wif wat he has now.
*But..mus things reali b lik tis?
*Dun wry,im nt referring 2 wat u tink it is
*I wl do jus wat u 1 me 2..
*But hopefully..fate shall decide tt we wl b frens..
*Cos i reali treasure sum1 lik u..
*But dun wry..i wont put tt kinda feelings into it anymore.
*All i 1 2 noe nw is how's life gg on 4 u...
*I wont interfere in ur life..
*I noe u wl b happier without me around..n live life jus e way u 1..
*I jus 1 u 2 b happy n do wateva u 1.Silly,i noe u wl.
*I wl b able 2 do it 1 day..i promise..But giv me time..
*Dun wry,u r slowly fading away frm my mind n sight
*But i wl kip those memories w me...

im reali in love w e tong hua song..its jus so..nice.ya,nice.

~8:09 AM

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.hais.actuali,im nt upset.But i jus feel tt..hv a more serious attitude lo..Its lik..responsibility.
.Sumtimes its true tt i jump 2 conclusions,but den..if u didnt do anything tts worth me judging or get me tinking..y wud i?Sumtimes i reali hope u wl change..but i duno who wl b able 2 do tt..Wat makes u so special from us?
.Anywae..im like darn bored n slpy.Gosh.Hw 2 survive.
.Millie wrote this poem which reali describes me lehs.
.Hais.beauty is only skin deep rite?but alot of ppl out dere r shallow.pity.
.sumtimes i feel sad 4 jh but she is hapi in e r/s?or is she nt?.
.y do u giv ur hrt 2 sum1 but in e end.
.hais.y gt so many probs.
.Its jus another day..Up 2 me 2 make it or crush it.
.So?!Smile man..mUahahahaha.
.Happy ish me.LOL.madness is getting e beta of me.
****Sotong ball.Yums.

~7:10 AM

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Friday, March 18, 2005

me n my lamest fren

~3:29 PM

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my dear girls

~3:28 PM

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